Posted July 28, 2011on:
My idea is to take some time each day to free write and let the jumbled thoughts that roam through my head come out on paper. Or screen.
I need to come to terms with why I sabatoge my weight loss and wellness goals. I join challenge after challenge and end up doing next to nothing.
I love to work out, yet I don’t.
I over eat all the things I know that I shouldn’t. Jelly beans are my love affair and my worst enemy. I don’t eat bread but could bury my sorrows in piles of pastries. Cake, cupcakes, cookies all hold a special place in my heart, tummy and thighs.
I’m too old to let these things have a hold on me yet they do. How do I break the chains? How do I cut these apron strings.
Right now it’s 1:18 and I’ve had a Little Debbie glazed honey bun, 1 cup of coffee with 2 splenda packs and a splash of cinnamon creamer, 1 can of coke zero, and a 32 oz Diet Coke from the gas station soda fountain.
How do I figure out WHY I’m doing this and how do I stop? I’ve thought of recording every bite that goes in the mouth and posting it on the blog but good lord, how boring would that be for people who read it? I’ve only got 2 or 3 readers anyway and I can see those folks leaving in droves. (Can 3 people actually be a drove?)
I think I have defined myself as “the old fat chick” for so long that maybe I don’t know how to be anything else. I’m the old fat chick that belly dances. I’m the old fat chick that tries to run. I’m the old fat chick…
I had someone on Facebook tell me that I was beautiful and amazing. I do not define myself that way at all. Should I? I keep reading and being told that the mind can create your reality. If I think it, will it happen?