Finally Getting Fit

Al Toll 5K or The worst race I ever ran

Posted on: February 20, 2011

This weekend I ran the Al Toll 5K Memorial race.

Al was a member of the Macon Tracks Running Club and all proceeds from the race are donated to the Epilepsy Foundation.  I don’t know a lot about Al except he loved some hills. His motto: Elevator Broken, Take the Hills.

I had run the hill part of this course in October in the Jay’s Hope Trick or Trek 5K. It wasn’t horrible I thought.

The difference is that in October I was on thyroid medication for my hyperthyroidism. Never underestimate the good that good medicine will do. Since I had the radiation ablation in January I’ve been medication free but I still have abnormal/hyperactive thyroid. My thyroid hasn’t died enough  yet to make me normal. (snort, like I will ever be normal anyway! HA!)

Some of the side-effects of hyperthyroidism are increased and irregular heart rate and shortness of breath.

Now picture that in an overweight 45 year old woman trying to run 5K.  It was horrible people. Absolutely horrible. We had our first beautiful spring day. The sun was out, the birds were chirping, the wind was mild.  The first 3/4 mile was flat. As flat as a pancake. I’m at the back of the pack as always trying to get my breathing steady so i can speed up a bit. It always takes me a while.  Mile marker 1 was on the slope of a hill. There are still walkers behind me at this point. We continue up the hill until the 1.55 mile marker. That’s our turn around point and yes it really was all up hill and we turned around on the crest of the hill. Then it was downhill. I though I would be able to pick up speed going down hill. About 1/4 way down the hill the walkers started passing me. I knew I was in trouble then. I was hot, having trouble breathing, my heart felt like it was going to pound out of my chest. All those people that were behind me are now passing me. They are running/jogging.  Fracking beetches. They’ve walked all this way and now they are gonna run? I just want to trip them up.  I keep going. I’m hot. The sun is beating down even though it’s not even 70 degrees yet and they have us running on the non-shady side of the road.

I would walk a few feet to get my heart rate down then jog some more until I couldn’t stand it. walk/jog walk/jog   I felt alone as the first of the 15K runners passed me going to the finish line.  I felt defeated as I turned the corner by the cop directing traffic.  I felt like a complete failure as I crossed under the finish line with a time of over 47 minutes. I didn’t do that horrible even in my first race last year.

I know there are days like this. I know I am fighting against something that I can’t really control right now. I should be glad that I can get out do this at all. I know this will pass. I was told it could take up to 6 months! 6 months of struggling and hoping that I don’t stroke out or have a heart attack during a race.

I felt like I was working so hard at getting no where. I filled out my finish card and held back the tears.  I had some friends running the Masters 15K but I just couldn’t stand around and wait for them. I was too busy having my own pity party. I almost cried on the route. I almost cried after I crossed the finish line. I’ve held it in until now. Now I can let the huge tears stream down my face.

I want to be a runner so bad. I want to be able to go out and just put one foot in front of the other and let all my worries and cares fly off me as I go down the street.  I want to finish a race with a decent time. At least under 40 minutes… I haven’t done that yet. I just want to run.

They all won’t be like this, I know. Thank goodness for that.

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1 Response to "Al Toll 5K or The worst race I ever ran"

*hug* You’re still my favorite runner – bad race or not. 🙂

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